Friday, July 2, 2010

Freaky Friday--Eclipse Version

OK, I went to the midnight showing on Tuesday, yes I did. Standing in line was awesome--hordes of teenage girls decked out in their Team Edward/Jacob finery, squealing and crying and intensely debating whether or not the headboard banging scene would make it to the final cut of Breaking Dawn (most thought yes, it would). Just standing there was like hormone replacement therapy.

The movie itself? Loved and hated it with equal measure. Here are my reasons:

LOVED (mild spoilers if you've been living under a rock):

1. Jacob and Bella kiss. Since Jacob spent the entire movie running around in Daisy Dukes, you are sooo primed for it to happen. H-O-T. (And, Taylor Lautner is, um, legal now, so I can stop thinking about him as "the kid who played Sharkboy".)

2. Jacob tosses off some seriously funny one-liners. So does Charlie.

3. The producers obviously had more cash for the important stuff. Special effects. Make-up. A decent director.

4. Bree Tanner is introduced. Now I might actually read the novella.

5. Jasper doesn't make me want to laugh hysterically every time he appears onscreen. All the Cullens--Rosalie and Emmett especially--actually have lines, and reasons for being in the film.

What I HATED (Again, spoilers if you haven't read the book):

1. The tent scene didn't exactly live up to my expectations. It was more about Edward and Jacob, than the, um, heat in that sleeping bag. Roger Ebert called it the "Brokeback Mountain scene", which is right on.

2. Bella's perpetual case of blue-balls. Sorry, there is no more applicable term. Edward is saving her soul by refusing to have sex with her? So the end result of asking for what she wants in the relationship is losing her very essence. Ugh. Double-ugh.

3. The ring looks like this cubic zirconia mess my mom bought with her 30% off Kohl's coupon a few years back. They couldn't do better?

4. When did Anna Kendricks become the most annoying person in the series? In a movie full of annoying actors, this is an accomplishment.

5. Bryce Dallas Howard was a poor choice for Victoria. She just looks too nice--definitely her father's daughter. It weakened the action scenes considerably.

I'd love to hear what you guys thought! Did you love or hate?


  1. We are so far behind on the Twilight movies, but this made me laugh anyways. Especially the freaking engagement ring. Seriously, who designed that thing?

  2. That part of the Ebert review was fantastic, and spot-on.

    Not sure I can bring myself to watch this one till it's free on cable, though I will TOTALLY line up to see whatever the hell they put on screen for Breaking Dawn! A vamp c-section is worth more than $10 I say.

  3. Haha. I was not impressed with the engagement ring either. And I think it's fair to say that I am (rock) solidly Team Jacob. *sa-woon*
    The whole cinema was caught by surprise at that one joke Edward made (okay, attempted). You know the one. And I cringed through the whole proposal scene - I even had to cover my eyes; I'm that mature. ;)
    LOVED Jacob's one-liners.
    Best Twilight movie yet, IMHO. I'm scared for Breaking Dawn 1 & 2, though.

  4. Yes. Totally. Best things:

    1. Jacob Black. The one liners were seriously LOL funny, and his delivery is spot-on. Plus, the heat and charm this boy brought...well, OMG, sawoooon. I LOVED the kiss. Uh-huh, totally H-O-T. I'm team Jacob anyway, but this movie made me want to punch Bella for choosing Edward.

    2. Charlie. Also LOL funny and charming. Great character, casted well.

    3. Actually decent special effects. Not laughable or cringe-worthy. No more cartoon feet when the vampires run. Also, yes, decent make-up. Good director.

    4. Excellent settings. Not only beautiful, but I felt like they enhanced the scenes emotionally.

    Okay things:

    1. Jasper...hmmm...he's better. I mean, I wasn't constantly thinking Beaker from the Muppets.

    2. The ring. Here's the dealio. I didn't love it, but it's supposed to be several hundred years i was okay with it.

    3. Bella. I think she actually smiled once or twice! Plus, still no real backbone, but I may have seen a glimmer of it. yee-haw.

    Things that I didn't like:
    1. Robert P as Edward. ugh. I'm sorry. He's boring, emotionless, and he makes one face throughout the movie--a look of total consitpation. Blrgh. (Plus, when he takes off his shirt, he's thin and flabby. I mean, c'mon, this dude is supposed to be sculpted like marble. Puh-leaze. At least he could've toned up.)

    2. The tent scene. In its defense, Jacob says my favorite one-liner here. Totally LOL. But having read the book, we know the heat in this scene...and it's missing. the fam is calling me, but those were my thoughts in general. Def the best of the movies so far...IMHO.

  5. OMG, Monica, we have to go out for a drink sometime...

  6. I'm glad I'm not the only one who got a Brokeback Mountain vibe from the "tent scene"--I thought Patz and "Abs" were gonna kiss.

    You were right on with your comments! Hilarious. Thanks for the post.