We all have them. The story you tell, again and again, because it's entertaining, or definitive of your personality, or just mind-blowingly strange. The one your friends ask to hear again and again; the one you truck out at parties when the conversation has dulled; the one that makes your spouse roll his eyes when you begin. Here's mine, notable because it's just so darn embarrassing:
Early 90s. Viper Room on Sunset Blvd. I'm about 22 and my IQ is hovering around that number as well. I spot a really hot guy just hanging out by himself, and, after a few glasses of whatever, muster up the courage to ask him to dance. He declines, graciously, and explains that he works at the bar so it really wouldn't be appropriate. I vaguely remember him wiping some tables and clearing glasses, so I'm not too insulted. I stumble back over to my friend, Susan, who is staring at me, mouth hanging open. "What were you just saying to Johnny Depp?" WHAT??? After a few "oh my gods" I laugh it off. A while later a tray of shots appears in front of my little group, I look over and HE gives a little wave, nothing flirty, just a friendly little "have fun" kind of wave. I get a little greedy with the shots, so there are a few gaps in rest of the story (apparently I danced with the guy who played Sal on 21 Jump Street!) but I guess we were among the last to leave that night. As I tripped out the door, Mr. Depp put a fatherly hand on my arm and asked Susan if I was going to be OK. "Of course," she said as I lurched forward, caught my boot on something and landed on my ass on Sunset Blvd, River Phoenix style. Baby-doll dress up around my neck, feet in the air...lovely. HE runs out with a couple of other guys and they all help me to preserve my remaining shreds of dignity and get me up and into the car. I can even remember him smoothing down my dress!
On the flight home the next day I threw up so many times I thought, at one point, the airplane toilet had sucked down my stomach. Even in my total humiliation, though, I could remember that Johnny Depp hadn't looked at me with disgust but with kindness. That helped. A little.
So, what's your story? We won't be judgy-judgy. Honest!
Sadly, I have too many! None that involve celebrities, though! That is a funny, sweet, and well worth repeating story. Keep on telling it!
ReplyDeleteI would advise anyone who reads this to head over to your blog, Suzanne (http://suzyhayze.blogspot.com/) for an amazing story--carnivals, true love, weddings, a great dress, what's not to like?
ReplyDeleteI have no stories as good as that one. And I'll never tire of hearing it.
ReplyDeleteLoretta,
ReplyDeleteYou are too nice! But really, about the story you posted. I have already called three of my Johnny depp loving friends to direct them to read this. I think one of them fainted over the phone. Well remembered!
Best. Story. Ever.
ReplyDeleteIt's classic too, because Laura gets wasted and ends up in a cab with my in-laws, and you get hammered and end up getting nursed by Johnny Depp. Awesome.
HOLY CRAP--I have LOVED Johnny Depp since Benny & Joon (great soundtrack too btw). I can't believe you hit on him then he HELPED you!!! Ahhh!!!
ReplyDeleteTell me on the phone the next time we talk too. Keep telling EVERYONE this story!
O.M.G. Can I steal that story? Not for a book, but just for general, you know, bragging purposes?
ReplyDeleteI know you weren't yourself that night and all, but believe me when I say you have NOTHING to be embarrassed of. You freaking met Johnny Depp! You hit on him! He was nice to you (which is totally unsurprising - can't you just tell he's sweet?)...
Seriously, hold on to this story. It's a gem!
I'd love to play along, but all my stories involve terrorists and crumbling buildings!! I'd trade those for a Johnny Depp story anyday!!
ReplyDeleteOh, Kathleen, that is a truly amazing story. One for the grandkids!
ReplyDeleteSarah, go ahead and steal it!
ReplyDelete